33

“You BURNED it all?”
“Haha, I know, but we invented unburning.”
Human and alien clinked glasses high above green fields of solar nanofilter.

Researchers have developed copper nano-spikes to catalyze carbon dioxide into ethanol. Cheers!

//Luke McKinney @lukemckinney writes all kinds of awesome science stuff at ZERO POINT COMEDY.//

30

“Now?”
“No, they just found another Mersenne prime.”
The cosmic janitor muttered as xe repacked the asteroids in xis tool-brane.

The Great Internet Mersenne Prime Search recently discovered the 49th Mersenne Prime, a number over 22 million digits long and divisible only by itself and one. Luke McKinney uses this discovery to prove that maybe we’re saving ourselves from destruction, one equation at a time. That poor cosmic janitor, with a tool-brane many quantum mechanics would envy.

//Luke McKinney @lukemckinney writes all kinds of awesome science stuff at ZERO POINT COMEDY.//

24

Saint botnet_ad7h48j3 had calculated people would click more porn banners if they weren’t distracted by war, and acted accordingly.

Neural networks are already being used to predict your behaviour because advertising is already a horror story. Customised neural networks can be applied to big data sets to extract results which then guide further advertising, without any interim understanding by human minds.

//Luke McKinney writes all kinds of awesome science stuff at ZERO POINT COMEDY.//