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It breached the airlock, propelling itself purposefully towards the galley. Horrified, we watched eager tentacles crack open our last beer.

In Anhauser-Busch’s first steps towards making Budweiser the first beer on Mars, the company recently announced its plans to conduct experiments on the International Space Station to better understand how barley reacts to a microgravity environment. Given humanity’s affinity for booze and ideas such as the “drunken monkey” hypothesis—which proposed that our primate ancestors came down from the trees for alcohol—it did not seem outside the realm of possibility that another large-brained carbon-based life-form capable of space travel would turn up their noses at such an intoxicating source of calories. // Statement by the Author

//Bijou Lin monkeys around imaginary realms built on hope and bananas. But mostly bananas. She blames all poor life choices on a hardwired evolutionary disposition for ethanol.//